Don't Trust Me
by momentary-ecstasy
Summary: Marissa and Alex meet years later. Both are going through some hard times. Can they help each other out of their downward spirals?
1. Chapter 1

So background- everything that happened in the real show except for Marissa dying. She went with her dad after graduation and then went to college and now lives in LA.

I don't own the OC yada yada.

Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Alex froze when she saw Marissa swaying in the middle of the dance floor. Somehow she knew she'd run into the brunette again. She just didn't know where. In her own club seems like an ironic place.

After watching Marissa for a few more minutes she recognized that look on the taller girl's face. The hollow, emotionless look of the consumption of some sort of drug. Ketamine, morphine…maybe even ecstasy or LSD.

Alex shook her head and turned back to her drink. She knew even if Marissa saw her that night she probably wouldn't remember. Alex would just be a mirage or déjà vu to the brunette.

She swiveled back around and surveyed the crowd. She knew why they came here. It was the same reason Alex herself was there all the time. The fact that she owned it didn't factor in very much. They came because they didn't want to be alone. Some took drugs not to feel or to be able to feel, but they didn't want to be alone doing it. Alex knew she could just as easily drink alone at her apartment but she didn't want to be alone. Belonging is a basic need. Here they could belong without having any attachment to anything. They could be free, but connected to a mass of people all vibrating to the same song, tripping on the same drugs, or checking out the same women. It was true that misery loves company. But so does happiness and numbness and any other emotion. They could come here and have a strange connection with strangers. One where there was nothing more than a passing glance or a drunken stumble to connect them, but that was all they needed.

The blonde checked behind the bar to make sure they didn't need any help before taking off toward the dance floor.

Everything was hazy around Marissa. Nothing seemed real. That's why she liked the drugs. She got them from a coworker two offices over. Some guy who wrote a column or picked out pictures something for the magazine. Marissa didn't care. The drugs he had were great and that's all she cared about.

As she moved with the beat of the floor, everyone around her started to get a small white glow around them. The blue, green, and purple strobe lights flashed around it making the effect stronger. People weren't really people anymore. Just faceless bodies gyrating around her.

Soon she felt two hands rest on her hips and she looked at the intrusion into her euphoric state. There was a sort of halo around the woman holding her. She couldn't really tell who it was because the lights were getting lower and faster. All she could catch were small glimpses. Since the hands on her hips weren't rough, guiding, or even pulling her closer, Marissa just went with it.

Alex confirmed that Marissa was on some sort of drug by the glisten of the skin exposed by her small tube top and the dilated pupils Alex could see even in the bad lighting. When she rested her hands on Marissa's hips, she saw the taller woman look at her for a moment, not seeming to recognize her then resume dancing.

Marissa followed the hands on her hips up to the shoulders and the body. The hips of the body seemed to move like the music was following them instead of the other way around. Someone just the simple swaying of her unknown dance partner's hips seemed familiar to her. The familiarity brought comfort and the comfort with the person caused Marissa to take a step closer and slid her arms to the dancer's shoulders.

The halo around the dancer seemed to fade as the music got darker and slower. Once Marissa cause of glance of blue eyes as the dancer looked toward the DJ booth and the lights flashed at the same time. Finally the outline of her companion started to come into focus. The straight blonde hair, moved with the woman's head. Even in the dark, Marissa could tell that the woman's eyes were closed as she fluid movements continued.

All the focusing on one person was starting to kill the effect of the drug to Marissa twirled in the dancer's arms and pressed herself again the woman.

Alex took a deep breath, inhaling Marissa's perfume. It was the same one Marissa wore so too years ago. Every time Alex would smell it on a passing woman, she'd turn around to see if it was Marissa. Alex blinked and the trance the perfume put on her was gone. She pushed it behind her and continued to dance with the taller woman.

Marissa's body was pressed against Alex and Alex held her there. Not in a controlling way, but in a way to let Marissa knew that's where she wanted her. Marissa's hair brushed against Alex's cheek and Alex's thumb brushed again the skin right above Marissa's pants. The memories of that skin and that hair come crashing onto Alex. She acted like she was over Marissa, but she knew she wasn't. She'd also never admit it out loud.

Suddenly Marissa decided to spin around again, this time her hips were pressing against the dancers. Their bodies seemed to slip into an innate synch that was just as natural as breathing. She could feel the woman's hot breath on her cheek and smell her soft perfume. The smell was familiar. So familiar that Marissa was almost able to pull out who it belonged to in her drug induced haze.

As the song was ending the dancing got slower before it completely stopped, they stood their, their bodies pressed against each other. A flash of light crossed the room and Marissa finally saw the dancer's face.

Alex knew Marissa just recognized her by the confused look on her face. Alex just leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "Thanks for the dance, Riss."

The heat from the words made Marissa shudder and just as soon as Alex appeared, she was gone. Assimilated into the crowd. Marissa couldn't find her, mostly because another song started and the lights got dim again. With a heavy sigh, Marissa decided that the sighting of her ex ruined her buzz so she should just head home.

As Alex lay in her office on the couch, the door opened and she immediately sat up. She laid back down when she saw it was one of her bartenders. "You okay?" Morgan asked, tilting her head to the side so that her shoulder length brown hair fell away from her face.

Alex nodded, not even convincing herself. "Sure." She squeezed her eyes closed.

Morgan sauntered over and straddled Alex. She smirked. She knew Alex's moods and what Alex wanted when she was in moods like that. She asked a question she already knew the answer to, "Do you wanna talk about it?" She bent down and nipped at the skin of Alex's neck.

Her reply was Alex deftly flipping their position on the couch and hungrily attacking Morgan's lips with her own.

Marissa just sat on the couch in her apartment staring through the glass coffee table to a spot on the rug. She narrowed her eyes in though. It had been a few hours and a nap since she got home from the club and she couldn't remember what happen or why she had a dream about her ex-girlfriend. "Maybe it wasn't a dream," Marissa mumbled to herself. Marissa bent down to pick up her water from the coffee table and smelled the familiar smell of Alex's perfume. She reached down and lifted a loose part of her shirt to her nose and took a deep breath. She shook her head with certainty, "It wasn't a dream."


	2. Chapter 2

Somehow I used my dazzling wit and disarming charms to get wonderousplaceforanecho to write a whole scene in here. Well, not really. I asked nicely and she's nice so she did. (Yeah that's right. I said you're nice and there's nothing you can do about it. Now the whole world knows. Muhahahaha) okay yeah I am that tired. But anyway, I owe her so big. All the Buffy goodness was manufactured in her brain and she let me borrow it. Gracias chica.

* * *

Marissa stared at the page in front of her. It needed to be revised and sent back to the editor before three, but all she could do was stare at it and wonder what Alex was doing there. Not just at the club, but what she was doing in general. If she was okay. Was she happy? Why did she go dance with her?

She knew she wasn't going to get any work done while she was thinking about Alex so she grabbed her purse, her keys and the article she was working on and left.

She walked into the bar that had just opened. There were a few business men sitting at the bar drinking martinis. The whole club had a different feel during the day. The lights were on and the place seems less mysterious during the day.

Marissa sat at the bar and ordered a cranberry juice. She was still supposed to be working so drinking wasn't on the agenda.

The bartender walked back over with the juice and leaned on the bar, "Anything else I can get you?"

"Uh is there a blonde that comes here often?" Marissa asked then indicating with her hand, "This tall with a purple streak in her hair and a butterfly tattoo?"

The bartender smiled, "Oh, you mean Alex."

Marissa nodded, "Does she come here a lot?"

"You could say that," the bartender smiled slyly.

At this point Marissa was starting to get annoyed, "What does that mean? Is she here now?"

"What do you want with her?"

Marissa shrugged, not really knowing what she wanted with Alex. Probably just to confirm she wasn't hallucinating. "Just to talk I guess."

"I'm gonna tell you this because you like a nice enough girl," the woman behind the bar told Marissa, "I don't think you can handle Alex."

Marissa was appalled, not only because the woman in front of her had the audacity to assume anything about her, but also because she'd already "handled Alex" as they woman so bluntly put it.

The bartender could tell that Marissa was angry so she added, "She uses girls like you all the time. And they come here looking for something more than a good lay from her. That's not her thing."

"Why is that?" Marissa gently prodded wanting to know why Alex was acting like that.

The bartender half heartedly shrugged, not interested in another bimbo chasing after Alex, "Jodie says it's because some bitch dumped her like three years ago, but Alex doesn't strike me as the type to get all crazy over a woman."

"Jodie's here?" Marissa asked, quickly scanning the room.

"You know Jodie?" the bartender asked, suddenly really interested in Marissa.

Marissa slowly nodded, "We've met." She checked her watch, "I...uh…I gotta go." She dropped a five on the bar, picked up her article and walked off.

"Alex will be here tonight!" the bartender called after Marissa.

Midway through the forth episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Morgan came through the front door, interrupting Alex and Jodie's marathon.

"Hey babe," Morgan said teasingly as she went straight to the fridge and grabbed a beer, "I thought I'd-"

"Stop by uninvited and eat our food." Jodie cut in, not taking her eyes off the screen.

"Why do you watch that crap anyway?" Morgan asked, avoiding the verbal jab. After all she was only there for Alex. Its how they operated, to the annoyance of Jodie who she knew didn't care for her, and that was putting it mildly.

"It's not crap, it happens to be a cult show that challenges patriarchal society and promotes the concept of a matriarchal family system," Jodie started in but Morgan rolled her eyes, leaning her trim frame back on the kitchen counter while she sipped the beer.

"Whatever," Morgan got out, "its lame," she said back calmly. Her dark blue eyes sparkled. She liked fucking with Jodie and she knew how to push all her buttons.

"It's about emotional realism, the episode we're watching, The Body," Jodie paused and looked at Morgan, a scowl forming on her features.

"It references The Hours, Virginia Woolf and how Buffy is going through the motions and trying to assemble her days, how she's shut down and can't handle her foundation being ripped from her. The directing suggests that they're all very small in a big world, in a Hitchcocian fashion. Not only is it about loss, its how there's a shift of Buffy being a sister to being a mother and she realizes that slaying vampires, stopping apocalypses and killing demons is easier than being a single mother." Alex said shifting her gaze back and forth from the flat screen TV to Morgan who seemed surprised.

"Furthermore," Jodie said in a faux, arrogant tone, "its how they promote the idea of taking away the notion that the men are entitled to power, it gives women the choice to their autonomy and how we can choose our own families," Jodie finishes, annoyed.

"Which is to say that the show expressed the deconstruction of the nuclear family while subverting the idea of genetics and biology being the underlying reasoning for familial bonds, making the tangible point that 'the hardest thing to do in this world is to live in it' as Buffy would say and it shows that blood _isn't_ thicker than water," Alex said almost coldly, somewhat dismissive of Morgan.

"I think I prefer it when you don't have clothes on," Morgan said back with honesty as she set her beer on the counter and stretched, exposing her hip bones and stomach, distracting Alex to a degree, "but seeing you be a nerd is interesting," she finished with a smirk that Alex had to begrudgingly admit was sexy, consequently making her turn her attention back to the show.

"God, she's so vapid," Jodie grumbled to Alex, though just loud enough so her comment to reach Morgan's ears. Alex tried to hide her smirk but got up, grabbing her own beer that was on the small wooden table in front of the couch and walked into her bedroom followed by Morgan who closed the door.

Jodie rolled her eyes from the couch. She stood up, grabbing her keys off of the kitchen counter. She paused by Alex's door and called through it, "Have fun wasting your time."

"Fuck off," Morgan called back.

Jodie sighed heavily and walked out the front door making sure to slam it hard behind her, making sure that Alex knew she was pissed.

While Morgan wriggled with pleasure under her, Alex's mind was off somewhere. She was never completely there, but this time her mind was completely gone.

Morgan knew that Alex was long gone, but it didn't matter to her. There wasn't supposed to be an emotional connection. This was just supposed to be about sex. She pulled at the pillow under her head because she knew that with this arrangement came rules. Alex didn't like to be touched. Morgan couldn't figure out why, but sometimes when Alex was drunk or high she wouldn't say anything when Morgan would touch her thigh or hold onto her back. And when Alex was in a really shitty mood, she'd tell Morgan to scratch her. Those were Morgan's favorite times because she knew Alex was going to make her feel things no one else could. Everything was more intense when Alex was in that kind of a mood. It didn't come often, but when it did Morgan savored every moment.

Sure if Morgan really wanted to face up to the facts, Alex was using her and in some ways she was using Alex. They'd have sex and sometimes pretend to be dating to ward off people they didn't want to be hit on by, but that was their deal. It's how they worked and Morgan was currently happy with it.

"How was class?" Marissa asked. At this point it was a formality. Her mind was on a blonde she was hoping to see at the club, not on Summer's graduate classes.

After Summer successfully rambled on about her day for five minutes, Marissa was finally ready. She put Summer on speaker and set her Blackberry on the nightstand then put away all the clothes that she had tried on before settling on a simple low cut black dress and black boots. She didn't want to stick out in the crowd in case she chickened out and the dress revealed enough skin to be sexy but not slutty.

"When are you leaving?" Summer asked, "It's like ten where you are."

"I'm leaving now," Marissa answered.

"Okay, but talk to her," Summer added, "I mean don't just walk toward her and then turn around and run."

"What am I going to say?" the taller women pulled at her hair one last time in the mirror before grabbing her clutch and phone and walking out her front door.

There was a brief pause then Summer added, "You'll think of something."


	3. Chapter 3

When Marissa walked into the club, the night was in full swing. The club was almost at capacity with a line around the block formed outside. She'd managed to get in with a sweet smile and an extra twenty to the bouncer. She wasn't sure if she'd have the courage to actually talk to Alex sober so she headed to the bar for a vodka tonic.

Alex was standing next to the bar in a dark corner with some woman's body pressed against her. She had one hand on the woman's back keeping her close and in the other hand was her third bourbon. She closed her eyes as the woman, whose name was escaping her, nipped at her jaw. By anyone's standard the woman was attractive with long black hair and a slim build. She was a little taller than Alex, but had no trouble accessing the blonde's neck.

The club owner was in a state of self induced euphoria. She'd become good at it lately. It blocked all the pain and the pressures and everything that went with it.

A harsh yell intruded into her haze and her eyes shot open when she could make out, "Fucking dykes." She immediately knew who said it. There was a man looking right at her no more than two feet away. His spiky highlighted hair, blue eyes and puka shell necklace normally would have just made Alex roll her eyes, but the words that came out of his mouth made her want to rip his face off.

She moved the woman that didn't seem to hear the comment and handed off her drink so that she wouldn't be tempted to hurl it at the man. In the one step it took her to get to him, her fist had already connected with his face.

Marissa saw a fight break out at the end of the bar as the bartender handed her a vodka tonic. She leaned as far over the bar as she could but all she could see was the back of a man in a blue shirt then a flare of blonde hair. She briefly wondered if it was Alex before her attention went to one of the bartenders running toward the fight then jumping over the bar. Marissa recognized Jodie as the one running to the fight so she turned and walked the other way with her drink.

"Alex!" Jodie called in the midst of the uproar, but her voice was lost in the crowd forming around the two. Just as Jodie got through the crowd and got her arms around Alex's waist to try to pull her away, two of the bouncers grabbed the guy and pulled him out of the club much to his protest.

Jodie practically pushed Alex all the way into her office before slamming the door, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You came," the bartender Marissa talked to earlier smiled at her as she settled at the opposite end of the bar from the fight and prayed Jodie wouldn't come back.

Marissa half-heartedly smiled back.

"I'm Peyton," the bartender finally introduced herself, "You still looking for Alex?"

Marissa nodded.

"Her office is over there if you wanted to check," Peyton added helpfully.

Marissa's eyes drifted to the black door in the corner of the bar, next to where the fight just broke out. She nodded to Peyton, "Thanks." Then after downing the rest of her drink she started the long walk to the door.

Alex shook her hand out before surveying the damage. So far it just looked like some bruises which was fine with her.

"You didn't answer me," Jodie crossed her arms, "What the fuck were you doing?"

Alex just shrugged, "Doesn't matter."

"Whatever is going on with you," Jodie told her, "You need to figure it the fuck out." Jodie walked out the door and slammed it behind her as she always seemed to do lately.

Alex walked to her desk and pulled a bottle of tequila out of the drawer. She sat down on her desk and unscrewed the cap. She turned on the stereo in her office with her foot. She successfully was able to soundproof her office from the outside. The only thing that could come through the door was knocks on the door itself.

After a long drink of the tequila, Alex laid back on her desk, putting one arm behind her head and the other held the bottom of tequila over the ground. She looked at the ceiling which was covered in colored aluminum panels. Jodie picked them out when they were designing their dream and Alex had to admit they looked great.

A small knock brought Alex back to the present. She looked at the door wondering who it was. Most of the employees knocked before just opening the door. Jodie usually barged right in although she had an office at the opposite end of the club. A bar back made the mistake of walking right in and caught Alex and Morgan in flagrante delicto. From then on he'd been scared shitless of Alex.

The knock interrupted her revelry again so she decided to answer the door and tell whatever drunk was knocking on the door to fuck off. She slid off of the desk and sauntered lazily over to the door. She didn't really feel like moving so moving slow was the next best option.

As the door slowly opened, Marissa's heart started to beat faster. Everything she had planned to say completely disappeared from her mind. As soon as she saw Alex looking at her, she nearly melted into a puddle. "Hi," was all she could manage.

After studying Marissa for a minute while regaining her composure Alex finally answered back, "Hi."

Just as Alex opened her mouth, the woman she had been making out with before stepped close to her. She rested her hands on the blonde's waist and smiled, "I lost you in the fight." As her lips when to Alex, Alex turned her head to look at Marissa who was already walking away.


	4. Chapter 4

"Marissa!" Alex called, but didn't walk after Marissa, knowing it was a moot point because the crowd had already swallowed her and she didn't really have anything to say. So she did what she always did. Pretended she was over Marissa.

She pulled the woman into her office and closed the door, their lips connecting and not parting as Alex backed the woman to the desk before picking her up and setting her on it.

Thirty minutes after the club closed and the employees were starting to leave, Jodie heard a crash in Alex's office as she was wiping down the bar. The brunette took off in the run and burst through the door to the office. She immediately saw Alex curled up with her knees to her chest, her back again the side of the desk, sitting on the floor. Her head was resting on her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs. Then she looked around for the source of the crash. She smelled it before she saw it. There was a puddle of tequila surrounded by a broke bottle, glass shards scattered from the impact against the wall next to the door.

"Alright Alex," Jodie walked over to Alex and slid down the wall opposite the blonde, "What happened? And I don't want some bullshit answer."

Alex lifted her head up like it weighed ten times more than it actually did, and rested her chin on her knees. There was a hollow, almost dead look on her face. Her expression was blank and her eyes were bloodshot. Jodie couldn't tell if she'd been crying or it was just the tequila.

After sitting there for a while Jodie sighed and stood. She reached down and pulled Alex up, who was obviously too drunk to walk on her own. She practically carried Alex out of her office while muttering, "Let's get you home."

As soon as they got outside, Alex puked on the sidewalk. The door opened behind them and Peyton stepped out. Jodie looked at her, "Lock up."

Peyton nodded, shooting a worried look Alex's way. "Is she going to be okay?"

"She'll be fine," Jodie sighed, not really believing it herself.

The bartender just nodded and locked the front down while Alex was stumbling her way to her Jeep with the help of the railing.

"Alex!" Jodie called and trotted her to side, "You're way to shitfaced to drive."

"Fuck off," Alex pulled out of Jodie's hold.

"No," Jodie firmly added, narrowing her eyes at the blonde, "You're not driving home. I am driving you home and I'm going to take care of you like I always do."

"No one asked you too," Alex slurred bitterly, continuing her slow journey to her car.

Jodie was infuriated now, "I do it because I care about you. And every time that Newport bitch comes around I have to clean up her mess!"

"She's not a bitch!" Alex screamed at Jodie, shoving her best friend away. Alex started to walk off but misstepped off of the curb, nearly falling, but catching herself on her hands and knees. She sat back on the curb and held her head in her hands. Jodie swallowed hard. It was really tough seeing her best friend like this.

The shorter woman sat down next to Alex and put her arms around her, "Look I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It's just…I hate to see you like this."

"Well it doesn't feel any better," Alex fought back tears with everything she had. She didn't want to lose her resolve. The resolve to not let Marissa get to her. To not give in to her emotion. She wanted to stay strong against whatever she felt for the taller brunette.

"I know," Jodie stroked Alex's head before the blonde leaned her head on her shoulder. Jodie held the blonde's head there and kissed her forehead. "Let's get you home. Then we'll talk in the morning."

Alex nodded against Jodie shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment. When Jodie stood, she pulled Alex with her and together they walked to the Jeep.

"She was with another woman," Marissa told Summer on the phone. She was fighting off tears, but she knew she wouldn't win.

"It's been years," Summer offered.

A few tears squeezed out, "No helping."

"What I meant was," Summer paused trying to word it right, "There's going to have been other women and possibly other men. She's Alex. She's hot. Hot like that doesn't sit on a shelf. But she picked you out of the crowd of hundreds of people to dance with. You said she seemed sober and she remembered you. She did that for a reason Coop. I may still feel something for you too."

Marissa fell back on her bed while wriggling out of her clothes. "What if this something she feels isn't enough?"

"You'll never know unless you try," Summer answered.

Marissa sighed, "You're right."

"Of course I am," Summer smirked.

The taller woman even chuckled at that, "Thanks Sum."

"It's what I'm here for," Summer answered then added a heavy sigh, "But my dissertation isn't going to write itself."

"Of course," Marissa closed her eyes, "Happy dissertation writing."

"I will try," the grad student answered, "Happy Alex hunting… and catching."

Marissa chuckled again, "Bye Sum."

"Bye Coop."

Marissa closed her phone and tossed it to the side. All of her plan formulating would have to happen tomorrow. She was way too exhausted from the emotional pinnacle of seeing Alex with another woman and then walking around the city for hours trying to sort the whole thing out in her head. Not that it was complicated, but Marissa was trying to figure out her next move which seems impossible.

After Jodie goes to her room for the night, Alex sneaks out of her room, a little more sober now and walks to the bookcase where their large collection of DVDs are stacked neatly. Alex pulls out the one movie Jodie hates more than any other movie in the world and opens the box to Legally Blonde. Instead of a DVD inside, there's a clear plastic baggy of a white powder. She bought it last night off of some guy in the club she caught selling it on the floor. Normally she'd just throw out guys like that, but she bought the coke off of him and then threw him out.

She knew she couldn't hide it in her room because of the parade of women that went through there all the time and Jodie hated Legally Blonde so she had no reason to open the box. Sure there were more creative ways to hide drugs but this worked for her.

Then she grabbed a straw out of the kitchen and went back into her bedroom, easily emptying the contents of the baggy in the span of an hour.


	5. Chapter 5

When Alex woke up she was in a daze. Her head felt like it was going to implode and to make matters worse, there was sunlight pouring through the windows.

As she stumbled out of the bedroom, she nearly fell into the bathroom which was her intended destination so she could empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. She wiped her mouth when she finished and brushed her teeth, avoiding looking at herself in the mirror.

The blonde walked into the kitchen and stared at the sink for a good twenty minutes before sighing herself into moving again. She opened the liquor cabinet, grabbed the bottle that had the most in it, which was a bottle of vodka with maybe a shot missing from the top. After scribbling a note to Jodie she walked over to the DVDs. She grabbed Legally Blonde 1 and 2 before heading out the front door before Jodie got home.

"Is Alex here?" Marissa asked Peyton.

Peyton glanced around before shaking her head, "She got really wasted last night. I'm sure she's still in bed."

Marissa nodded to herself and studied the ground. She hoped Alex was okay. The brunette decided to wait around just in case Alex showed up later. While she was waiting she ordered a martini.

A few minutes later Jodie slid behind the bar with a note in her hand. She walked straight to Peyton. "Is Alex here?"

Peyton looked from Marissa to Jodie, "No I haven't seen her all night."

Jodie looked over at Marissa and glared. Then she looked past Peyton. "Morgan!"

The bubbly girl walked over to Jodie with a smile on her face. "Yes boss?"

"Do you know where Alex is?" Jodie asked, "She left a note that said she'd be gone for a few days. I found an empty baggy, mirror and a cut straw on her nightstand."

"Like coke?" Morgan asked, "Well she has been acting strange."

"Have you seen her?" Jodie demanded, while Marissa watched the conversation take place across the bar.

"Not since she kicked me out of bed this morning," Morgan added, "She got dressed like she was going somewhere."

"Did she mention where?" Jodie crossed her arms, obviously growing annoyed."

Morgan shook her head.

Jodie sighed and her eyes caught Marissa's. She narrowed her eyes at the taller brunette, "C'mon. This is your fault. You're helping."

"How is it my fault?" Marissa asked, "I didn't know this was her club."

"It's our club okay?" Jodie asked, quick to correct Marissa, "Let's go."

Marissa followed Jodie out the front door.

"Where's your car?" Jodie asked.

"This way," Marissa started walking down the street with Jodie keeping in step.

"What do you want with her?" Jodie questioned while they walked.

Marissa looked at the ground and sighed, "I just want to talk to her."

"Yeah well she's not really the talking type since you got through with her," Jodie venomously snapped at Marissa.

Marissa stepped off the curb and walked to the driver's door of her, "Well your influence doesn't seem so great either."

Jodie couldn't reply to that. She just got into Marissa's Boxster and listened to the roar of the engine as Marissa tore off down the street.

At Jodie's direction, Marissa pulled into the parking lot of a nearby strip club. Jodie got out of the car and Marissa followed her, "Do you think she's here?"

Jodie shook her head, "Someone who may know is here."

Once in the door, Marissa paid their cover and walked past the bouncer who was pervishly smiling at them. It didn't seem to faze Jodie who walked right in. Marissa scampered to catch up.

When they walked in, the main stage was bathed in blue hues radiating from the lit floor of the stage. A woman was already topless and dancing on the main stage while a few other women were in the middle of private shows on smaller stages throughout the room.

Jodie seemed to see who she was looking for and waved a twenty in the air at a woman standing at the bar in pink lingerie.

Marissa kept looking around because she'd never been in a strip club. Plenty of clubs where half-naked women were dancing on tables, but their clothes, for the most part, stayed on. When she saw Jodie sit down at the end of a white couch, she sat down next to her in a slightly reclined purple chair. Marissa sat up straight in the chair, but Jodie pushed her back into the reclined position. "It works better if you're reclined."

"What does?" Marissa asked, but stayed in the previously instructed position.

Before Jodie answered, the woman in the lingerie walked over. Jodie subtly pointed at Marissa and handed the twenty over to the woman.

Marissa looked mortified as the woman started giving her a lap dance. Her hands clutched the side of the chair as the stripper slightly straddled her, her fruity scent drifting into Marissa's nose.

"Where's Alex?" Jodie asked.

The stripper smiled, "What makes you think I know?" Her face got close to Marissa's and her auburn hair tickled Marissa's neck.

"The fact that you answered my question with a question," Jodie crossed her legs and leaned on the back of the couch, clearly enjoying the fact that Marissa was obviously uncomfortable.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss said club owner's whereabouts," the stripper told Jodie. She put her arms on the back of the chair and held herself inches from Marissa, whose breath was getting ragged.

"C'mon Abby," Jodie sighed, "Where is she? And none at that lawyer bullshit. You're still in law school."

"I may be a lowly law student," Abby answered, "But I know she doesn't want to see you."

"I'm worried about her," Jodie added.

"She's okay," Abby replied, "Or she was when I left her in bed this evening."

Marissa deflated. That was the second time in an hour she'd heard that Alex shared a bed with someone and she was positive activities other than sleeping took place both times.

"You're a big help," Jodie sighed and stood up.

Abby stood up straight allowing Marissa to stand also. Abby and Jodie glared at each other as the brunettes left together.

"I hate you," Marissa muttered as they got to the car.

Jodie just smirked.

"So do you want me to take you back to the club?" Marissa asked.

Jodie raised an eyebrow, "You give up way too easy. We're going to Abby's apartment."

"If Alex is there, she'd not going to open the door for us," Marissa added as she pulled out of the parking lot.

"Who said anything about the door?" Jodie asked.

Marissa kept looked around them while Jodie pulled the screen off the window of first floor apartment belonging to Abby. Jodie handed the screen to Marissa who just stood there, still looking around.

"We're going to get arrested," Marissa uttered.

"Nope," Jodie wiggled the window, "Alex almost did when she broke in here though. I've never seen her run so fast."

"Why did she break in?" Marissa asked.

"After Alex broke up with her Abby refused to give back one of Alex's records," Jodie answered as the window slid up, "Idiot still doesn't lock her window."

"Alex dated a stripper?" Marissa asked.

Jodie nodded taking the screen from Marissa and tossing it aside, "Yeah. She was girlfriend number four post-apocalypse. And by post-apocalypse I mean you. Now hop in princess."

"Why am I the apocalypse?" Marissa asked putting her hands on the window ledge. "It's not like I'm the pinnacle of her life."

"Actually," Jodie gave Marissa a boost. Mostly shoving Marissa through the window, "You're the only person I'm completely sure Alex has ever been in love with. God knows why."

After tumbling inside and into a stack of books, Marissa stood up and straightened out her shirt. She slammed the window shut almost getting Jodie's fingers. Jodie flipped her off through the window and shouted, "Open the door."

Marissa nodded and looked around the room she was in. It was some sort of study with a desk and shelves of books. She exited the room and walked to the living room where she opened the door for Jodie. Jodie bumped into Marissa's shoulder as she passed and walked straight to what Jodie thought was the bedroom.

Marissa rolled her eyes and followed. She stopped next to Jodie when she saw Alex passed out on the bed, clad in jeans and a black t-shirt that was two sizes too big for the blonde. Next to her on the nightstand was an empty bottle of Jack Daniel's.

"Fuck," Jodie breathed before walking over to the blonde.

Marissa couldn't make herself walked past the doorway. Seeing Alex like that was unnerving.

After trying to wake Alex up, but only successfully got the blonde to roll over, Jodie looked at Marissa, "We have to watch her until Abby gets home."

"Won't she be mad?" Marissa swallowed hard.

"Would you rather Alex throw up while she's passed out and die or would you rather risk getting your ass kicked by a stripper?" Jodie asked as she neared Marissa.

Marissa looked at the ground.

"That's what I thought," Jodie held out her hand, "Give me your keys. I have to go get some things for Alex."

Marissa reluctantly handed over her car keys.

Jodie left, leaving Marissa alone with a passed out Alex. She quietly walked over to the empty bottle and picked it up. Then she noticed two baggies sticking out from under the lamp on the nightstand. Marissa picked up the lamp then the cocaine and replaced the lamp. Then she quietly walked to the kitchen and turned on the water. She slowly emptied each baggy down the drain before rinsing them out and throwing them away with the empty bottle.

Then Marissa walked back into the bedroom and laid down facing Alex. The bed smelled like Abby had at the strip club. After using her phone to email Summer the entire situation, Marissa closed her eyes and sighed. It was getting increasingly difficult to sort out her thoughts.

"What are you doing here?" came a soft, raspy voice.

Marissa opened her eyes and saw Alex's blue eyes looking back at her. "I…uh…I came to check on you."

"How did you get in?" Alex asked, not moving.

"Jodie threw me through the window," Marissa answered.

Alex raised an eyebrow.

"You should go back to sleep," Marissa mentioned.

The pounding in Alex's head made her realize Marissa was right, but she was still hoping to talk to Marissa. "Will you be here when I wake up?"

"If you want me to," Marissa nodded.

"Stay," Alex sighed a second before she passed out again.

Marissa smoothed some hair out of Alex's face, then retracted her hand. She laid and watched Alex sleep in her silent vigil.

* * *

I'd like to add that wonderousplaceforanecho and I spent hours researching strippers etc for this chapter. Because...we neither one of us have ever been to a strip club. I went with that I've seen in clubs and what I've seen on tv. I didn't mean to offend any strippers...or law students. But mostly strippers. I tend to like the strippers I've met outside of strip clubs. Anyway, rambling. Hope you enjoyed. Reviews are good ;)


	6. Chapter 6

Alex's eyes slowly opened a few hours later. Her head was pounding and she felt exhausted. She saw a sleeping form of Marissa next to her. She was on her side facing Alex, her hair had fallen half over her face. Alex laid there and looked Marissa's features over before rolling out of the bed.

She finally realized what had woken her up. She could clearly hear Abby and Jodie yelling at each other through the closed bedroom door. Alex turned to the bedside table and lifted the lamp. She was sure that's where she put her stash. She opened the drawer to the bedside table and looked in there before checking her pockets.

Marissa groaned and slowly opened her eyes. When she saw the annoyed look on Alex's face, she sat up and asked, "What's wrong?"

"My…" Alex started to say her stash, but knew better in front of Marissa, "I lost something."

Marissa was pretty sure she knew what Alex was looking for, but didn't want to say she was the one that poured them down the sink especially since Alex seemed to be talking to her. The brunette opened her mouth, but before she could say anything Abby threw open the door.

The angry stripper-law student looked at Marissa, "You need to leave."

"What?" Marissa asked, momentarily stunned. Her eyes moved to Jodie who was standing behind Abby.

"Alex," Jodie caught the blonde's eyes. "Come home."

Alex looked between Jodie and Abby.

"Yeah with your bitchy ex and your coke-fiend ex," Abby gestured to Jodie and Marissa respectively.

"What?!" Marissa stood off the bed, "I've never done coke."

"Then why did I find two empty baggies in the trash?" Abby asked crossing her arms.

"What?!" Alex's eyes widened and she looked at Marissa.

Jodie stepped in the room fully, "It's obvious she didn't do the coke because she fell asleep before I got back. If she did both of those baggies, she'd still be wired. She probably flushed the coke down the toilet cause Alex is being an idiot."

Marissa couldn't help, but nod. She glanced over at Alex who looked more pissed than ever.

"Why can't you two just leave me the fuck alone?!" Alex yelled.

"Because we fucking love you and you're being the biggest dumbass in the world!" Jodie yelled back.

Abby stepped between Alex and Jodie, facing Jodie. She calmly said, "You need to take Marissa and leave."

"Alex?" Marissa said quietly hoping the blonde would come with them.

"Fuck off," Alex crossed her arms and walked out the bedroom door.

Tears jumped to Marissa eyes, but she was determined not to cry in front of Alex. Marissa walked out of the apartment with Jodie, completely defeated.

As Marissa pulled up at Alex and Jodie's apartment building the sun was starting to peak over the horizon. Marissa fought to stifle a yawn and keep her head up.

"Where do you live?" Jodie asked before getting out.

"Across town," Marissa answered.

Jodie opened her door and stood, "C'mon. You can't drive home tonight. We've had a long night."

Marissa knew Jodie was right so she turned off her car, grabbed her purse and followed Jodie into the apartment.

The second she hit the couch, Marissa was fast asleep. She'd pulled the blanket Jodie gave her around herself and kicked off her shoes.

A few hours later, Jodie woke up to the screeching of her alarm. She quickly turned it off, not wanting to get out of bed. However she knew she had work to do and she was sure Alex wouldn't be at the club to do her job. Jodie jumped in the shower and made a mental note to have as many cups of espresso as possible. On her way out she saw Marissa still passed out on the couch.

She walked over to Marissa's purse and dug through it looking for the taller girl's car keys. She found a small silver box and rolled her eyes. When she opened it, she found two small blue pills. Jodie rolled her eyes, pocketed the box, then grabbed Marissa's keys from the bottom of her purse.

Then she wrote a note saying she was going to borrow her car and her blue dolphins, but she wasn't bringing the dolphins back. She set it on top of Marissa's purse and left for the club.

Alex sighed as she trudged up the stairs to her apartment around two in the afternoon. She couldn't sleep after Marissa and Jodie left so she went surfing and got thrashed around a few times before deciding she wasn't going to be able to concentrate enough to stay standing on a surfboard.

She figured Jodie was already at work and knew she'd have to at least make an appearance at the club later. She opened the door and took off her shoes, then closed the door. She froze when she saw Marissa asleep on the couch.

Alex managed to get past Marissa and into her room without waking the younger girl. She threw some extra clothes into a bag and stepped out of her bedroom door to see Marissa sitting up on the couch, reading a piece of paper. She stood still and watched Marissa angrily sigh, tossing the paper aside.

The blonde knew it was only a matter of time before Marissa saw her so she stepped into the living room and to the door.

"Alex," Marissa stood from the couch, seeing the club owner for the first time.

Alex froze in place and turned around to face Marissa, "What are you doing here?"

"I was sleeping, but Jodie stole my car so I'm stuck here," Marissa explained. She was digging through her mind for something to say. She decided honest was the best policy, "I wanted to talk to you."

"I'm not really in the mood to talk," Alex replied shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"Are you in the mood to listen?" Marissa asked, getting annoyed with Alex's behavior.

Alex put her hand on the doorknob, "Not really."

Marissa knew the one question that might stop Alex in her tracks. "Why did you dance with me?"

She was right. Alex froze in place, "I…it's fun." She shrugged.

"Out of five hundred women dancing in the club I was the most fun?" Marissa asked.

"Yup," Alex nodded with the only answer she could come up with before slipping out the door.

Marissa got up with all intentions of following Alex all the way down to the parking lot. She was going to talk to Alex if she had to stand behind Alex's Jeep to stop her from pulling out of her parking space.

Those plans were short lived when she got to the bottom of the stairs and saw Alex's Jeep still in the parking space. Marissa noticed the bag Alex was carrying earlier in the passenger's seat and Alex was nowhere to be found.

Marissa bit her lip before walking back up to the apartment to get her shoes. There were at least five bars in the vicinity of the apartment and she figured that's where Alex would be hiding.

After searching every bar within walking distance, Marissa started to go back to her apartment. She decided that if Alex didn't want to see her, there was no way to make her. She couldn't trap Alex. She couldn't make her listen. So she'd have to wait.

As she walked down the sidewalk, she heard the gently crash of the waves on the beach across the street. The soothing noise seemed to be calling her and she wasn't looking forward to going back to the apartment just in case Jodie was there.

Marissa looked both ways before stepping onto the dark pavement. In the street, Marissa could see orange construction lights in the distance down street along with the angry headlights of motorists deadlocked behind them.

The wind blowing off the ocean floated up the sleeves of Marissa's jacket and sent chills down her back. She wrapped her arms around herself and kicked at the sand under her feet. She looked out at the ocean where the waves appear out of obscurity and lapped the ground near her feet. The sky at the edge of the ocean was dark blue where the sun had disappeared behind the horizon.

She stood there and watched the sky get darker and darker knowing that it wasn't going to give her the answers she was looking for. Marissa dropped her head and sighed.

"You okay?" a soft voice asked from behind her.

The sudden sound caused her to jump and quickly turn. She sighed again when she saw the blonde she had been thinking about. "Alex. Um…yeah, I'm fine." Marissa paused looking Alex up and down. She was wearing the same thing as before except she had put on black hoodie. Marissa searched Alex's face and what she found was sadness and possibly confusion. "Are you okay?"

Alex took a deep breath. "I don't…I thinks so. Look I'm sorry for running you off and then leaving," Alex looked at the blackening waves, "I'm…I don't know what I'm doing. I finally have the life I've always wanted and I don't know if I want it anymore. Before you came…my life was in hazy…euphoric at best. The drinking and the drugs were just…my escape. I know it's stupid, but I think I'm done."

Marissa slowly nodded, "Good." She wanted to touch Alex in some reassuring way, but didn't think she could without upsetting Alex again.

"Thanks for…" Alex finally looked back at Marissa, "Caring."

"I'll always care," Marissa quietly replied.

An awkward and unbearably comfortable silence fell over them. Marissa kept looking from the ground to Alex and then back at the ocean while Alex was searching for something to say.

"Do you need a ride home?" Alex asked.

Marissa immediately nodded, "Yeah."

The blonde started walking back toward the street, leaving Marissa to scamper after her. Marissa couldn't help, but smile to herself. Alex was actually talking to her and being nice.

Once they got back to Alex's Jeep, the shorter girl felt around her pockets and then glanced in her Jeep. "I must have left my keys inside. I'll run up and get them."

"Okay," Marissa leaned on the Jeep and waited. After a few minutes, Alex appeared at the top of the stairs with a small smile on her face, "The door is locked."

"Did I do that?" Marissa asked, "I didn't mean to."

Alex's smile grew, "It's fine. Do you have your phone on you? We can call Jodie to come let us in. Mine is still at Abby's."

Marissa felt in her pocket and realized that she forgot to grab her phone on the way out.

Alex knew that Marissa had forgotten her phone and nodded as she walked down the stairs, "Well, how about we go…" she thought for a moment, "get ice cream?"

Marissa grinned, "Sounds great."

The blonde lazily dropped down the last step, stopped at the curb and looked down the street. She didn't realize how close she was to Marissa until she looked back at the taller girl, who was now shorter because Alex was on the curb. She glanced down at her feet and rocked back on her heels. Marissa, although she tried to, couldn't seem to move or make any sort of noise, much less take her eyes off of Alex.

"So…" Alex drew out the word in an attempt to cut the tension, "Ice cream?"

Marissa was finally able to take a step back and nodded, "Lead the way."

Alex loved when Marissa was being shy or nervous. It was the cutest thing she could think of. In true Alex Kelly manner, she thought of a way to prolong the shy nervousness. She stepped off of the curb and gently kissed Marissa's cheek. Then without giving Marissa a chance to recover Alex started walking back toward the street.

It took Marissa a minute to let the fact that Alex just kissed her sink it. It was just a kiss on the cheek , but a kiss is still a kiss. A huge goofy smile appeared on her face before she turned around and trotted after Alex.


End file.
